August was a total blur. There were visits from friends and family, and a birthday celebration (mine!). Plus I spent two weeks fighting a cold (and by “fighting,” I mean napping on the couch and watching 14 hours of documentary about the Roosevelts (highly recommend it, by the way)).
As far as colds go, it was pretty solid timing. I’ve been feeling 100% unmotivated lately. I knew what I needed to do to be productive, and I just couldn’t do it. I was completely uninspired and without discipline.
Fortunately, I had enough distraction with not-working; instead enjoying plenty of summer events with good company. Sure enough, it seemed the only thing that helped with the discomfort with not getting anything done, was not worrying about not getting anything done. Apparently I needed an unofficial, accidental, vacation…
So that’s what I did, kind of. And it was wonderful.
My family jokes that there are two types of people — switches and dimmers (as in light fixtures). My mother is a switch. When she’s “on” she’s go-go-go. She’s unstoppable, keeps going, until she’s exhausted. Then she pauses, takes a vacation (or fights a cold), and before we know it, she’s back to normal, marching ahead and blazing trails. On. Off.
I’m more like my father — a dimmer, as it were. There are some occasions and some things for which we go forth and conquer. But also, sometimes, we’re comfortable with a stroll, with watching the clouds go by, or telling the same well-loved story again. Occasionally, we too need to be “off” from everything, being particularly fond of napping. We have all kinds of variables of intensity, being dimmers. Not quite on, sometimes off.
After a year of being busy trying to get things started as an artist, and building momentum and a professional work-ethic, I seem to have forgotten my natural habits. Sure, hard work is super important, but I’ve decided it’s okay to not be “on” all time time too. I didn’t mean to take a vacation of sorts. For a while, it felt a lot like giving up and quitting…and probably looked like it too. Instead, I’m back and ready to go again, feeling more energized and enthusiastic than ever before!
I may have been “off” in August, but it’s “on” for September!